When we learned that he had cancer on Aug. 4, 2004, my first emotion was anger: anger at myself for not feeling more of anything, and bitterness towards him for the alcoholism that had made him a stranger all my life. But I've learned more about forgiveness through all of this than I ever could have expected.
I haven't blogged here much -- at all -- about his recent condition. These past few months have been hell; the severity of his mental and physical deterioration was not something anyone anticipated, and the tearful conversations I had with my mother as he cycled through delusions, internal bleeding, infections, pneumonia, and hypercalcemia ("the most common life-threatening metabolic disorder associated with neoplastic diseases, occurring in an estimated 10% to 20% of all persons with cancer") have been wretched and daily. When we were told in early February that Dad wouldn't last till May, we looked at how much he was suffering and knew that it was time to let him go. I just wish so much that spring break had begun one day sooner, so I could've seen him again.
Goodbye, Dad...and even in the midst of grieving, I'm happy that your ordeal is over. No pain can touch you now. Jen 9:07 AM
Monday, December 13, 2004
Classes are over, and we are now in the midst of exam week. Isn't that fun? But in the interest of keeping sane as I stall on plow through my papers, I've continued my tradition of writing up drinking games for my profs every semester; you never know when some future Bryn Mawr student might be curious about the quirks and oddities of BMC's faculty and stumble upon my helpful guide. (Heh. Right.)
Take a sip of tea whenever:
Allen (International Politics)
...puts down Realism
...advertises his latest book
...talks on his cell phone in the back of the room
...calls on the other Caribbean people over students who have had their hand up for ten minutes
...draws an "amoeba diagram" on the board. Drink two sips if you have no idea what the hell he's doing
McWilliams (Foundations of American Political Thought)
...grunts
...wears an extremely short tie
...makes fun of Humvees
...describes a philosopher's ideas as "cute"
...mocks Republicans or Bush
...begins a sentence with, "If you're an intelligent human being and therefore a Democrat..." Drink two sips if the vocal Green Party activist in the class gets pissed.
Kasius (Probability & Statistics)
...tries to be funny
...inhales chalk and produces a high-pitched sneeze
...gets flustered. Drink the whole thing if he gets annoyed (rare!)
Saler (Age of Jefferson & Jackson)
...talks about Jefferson as if he's her next-door neighbor, in the present tense
...draws an incomprehensible map of the U.S. on the board
...plays devil's advocate
...is debated by Derek, who loves to be contrary for the sheer hell of it
...rhapsodizes about Massachusetts and New England
It was great seeing most of you over Thanksgiving break! And if I didn't get to see you, I will most definitely poke you over winter break. :)
"The Donner Party film was very tastefully done, ha ha ha."
-- Prof. Saler
That's how we spent Age of Jefferson and Jackson class today: watching a PBS documentary about the Donner Party. Westward expansion, California and cannibalism! Mustn't forget the cannibalism. (A little fact that creeped out my classmates: the member of the party who was most vocal about eating the flesh of his fellow travelers later opened a restaurant in Los Angeles) Pathetically enough, I knew every single location the Donner Party went through because of the Oregon Trail computer game that I used to play all the time. "Oh no, they've reached the salt desert! Frickin' salt desert killed me every time..."
And while I'm quoting professors:
"As a Poli Sci major, I once had to squire Strom Thurmond around my unit when I was in the army. After showing him what I thought he needed to see, I said, 'Is there anything else you'd like to look at, Senator?' And he said to me, 'Son, where are the girlies?' So if someone asks you if I've ever been a pimp, the answer is yes. I introduced him to a nice German girl left over from the Franco-Prussian War and hoped she would give him a nasty disease, but sadly she failed to live up to my expectations."
-- Prof. McWilliams
He can be a real an jerk (I once referred to him as Prof. Dickwad Fucknozzle in an e-mail, and now I can't recall the man's name without thinking, "Dickwad Fu...no, that's not it"), but at least he brings the funny. Well, occasionally.
Back to paper-writing, and hopefully there will be no all-nighter. Eh, who am I kidding; of course there will be an all-nighter. I'll comfort myself with the fact that the semester ends in a week.
Lantern Night, squee! Emily was one of the bouncers, so I was able to sit on the roof of Thomas Great Hall and look down upon the Cloisters as this year's freshmen received their lanterns. I have to admit, they did a much better job of singing "Sophias" than my own class last year, and "Pallas Athena" was a lot of fun to sing from the rooftops.
Also cool? Hearing the Anass ricochet through the Cloisters. And the Goodnight line at step sing. Yays.
Heh, that was a lot of Mawrterese for all of you to wade through. ;) (Psst, JiaJia! Happy Lantern Night!)
While I took the test yesterday (finally -- I only waited two years after getting my permit *cough*), I couldn't get the actual license until this morning; the MVA guy insisted that I wouldn't be allowed to until I turned in my non-driver Maryland ID from 1999, even though I was positive I already had two years ago. Yeah, I was plenty pissed when I went home, especially since I had been in line for over three hours after the test. In any case, I went back this morning and the nice lady I encountered at the MVA today gave me a form to fill out, so all's well that ends well.
Heading back up to Bryn Mawr tomorrow, after a productive week of fall break: lots of errand-running and yardwork, not to mention getting that damn license after all this time. :)
My Foundations of American Political Thought class was cancelled earlier this week because the professor's daughter was a contestant on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and he was her life line; he had to wait by the phone all day for a call from Regis. Amused? Hell yeah.
Dad got home from the hospital yesterday night. It'll take a while to heal from surgery, but he's been recovering faster than I'd ever thought he would, and Mitzi apparently is insanely happy to have him back. :P
Awk. Going through serious cat withdrawal.
I finally discovered where the Bryn Mawr graduate school is, completely by accident; I went wandering past the fields down a road that I'd never been through before, and voila --another field, with the grad school nearby. And, and there's a stream that makes little burbling sounds, and woods, and there was a family of deer and a heron, and...
Why I'm so happy to have another random place to explore, I don't know. But I always enjoy walking around the area, and it'll be fun to poke about a new place.
